I've been down this road before road. I can barely move forward. The road is thick in wet clumpy mud- per usual. The funny thing is- the sidewalk is right there. Just a few steps over from this muddy road I continue to travel through. My shoes are now mud crusted weights from this path Ive remained on. My socks, a mixture of suffocation and stench from sweat, bloody blisters, & thick muddy water trapped in each step. I can barely clear the mud with each heavy step.
the irony of this difficult path im journeying down.. the sidewalk is near, a few paces over. Damn near, right next to me. a slight changed in step direction would get me path of less resistance. But at this point, can I target myself toward the sidewalk. If I tried, would the Mud get thicker? would each step feel heavier. I don't know if I have the strength to withstand more weight and resistance..
It seems, thinking about redirectioning toward the sidewalk.. promotes muddier decisions. but thinking is just thoughts.. thinking is not an action... So with no action being done, my thoughts remain a spiral of confusion. causing distorted train of thoughts, not clarity in proper direction.. a blurred vision at this point. I cant think straight, yet alone walk in direction im targeting myself to go in. with no clarity..My poor decisions remain consistent. Maybe tomorrow the weight of this muddy trek will be lighter. Maybe by next week ill guide myself in a direction that will lead to that wide open sidewalk. Maybe I should grow up, man up, and forget the pity path. in clear vision- the sidewalk is right there. a few steps over lay a clean, firm, smooth walking path. a path allowing less effort to travel down... But here I am .. just thinking again- remaining in the thick mud, trying to make the next step from this heavy suctioned mud. But that sidewalk does sound nice though.
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